I grew up in the land of the reverse striptease. For roughly three-quarters of the year you’re putting things on instead of taking things off – layer after layer after layer.

But now it’s the season to shed things. Bras and bad attitudes seem to go hand in hand – or is it cup in hand?

While we all need some support, maybe it’s good to shed more than clothing. I'm not at my best in the heat. I’m not a patient person, except with small children and the elderly, and I’m even less patient in the heat. I recently fantasized about drowning an elderly man who rammed me with his shopping cart. Forgive me.

There’s not much I know for certain, but I do know this: nothing should be encased in spandex and latex in the high heat and humidity of summer. The older I get the harder it is to bear the heat. I know I’m not alone. I hear the same thing from my mother, who is driven inside by the searing temps that hit the 100°s on the Great Plains. And I hear it from other gardeners of a certain age. I run into to them everywhere: red-faced, hands dabbing their moist foreheads; hair piled atop their heads as they try to cool the nape of their sweaty necks; bras abandoned in this bed or that (I mean perennial bed.)

One can feel as shut-in during the heat of summer as in winter. I follow my cat’s lead and take cover under the canopy of a sweet pepperbush – bees buzzing overhead.

And everyone wants in on the striptease. Even a hosta grower got into the act when he named his hosta “Striptease” after its alluring sliver of white. Ooh la la.

Years ago, I was visiting a neighbor’s garden and I saw her DD bra cradling a large trellis-grown cantaloupe. Now that’s the only use I can think of for a bra in the heat of summer, but I'm open to other suggestions.